There are a lot of things I admire about my husband; I mean, not his clutter blindness or ability to destroy a pair of socks (seriously, what does he DO in those socks?) But that's another Oprah. One of the best things about him is his loyalty. Sometimes I wonder if it's just a 'guy' thing, to be able to make a friend in 8th grade and be friends forever. To know that when one friend goes wacky for a little while you just give him space and then it all comes back to normal. John has had the same friends since 8th grade. He made some new ones in college, but I'm not sure if that counts, because they were all connected with friends from home, and he knew him and whatnot. The joke in our house is that when I make a new friend, I'm not allowed to 'pimp him out' (his words, not mine) to my new friends' husbands. He is perfectly comfortable in his bubble, and that's fine, because I just happen to really enjoy the people in his bubble.
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the particular day) I'm a girl, and it just doesn't seem to be that easy. I remember having a conversation in college with a sorority sister (also, another Oprah) after a particularly rough fight with a friend from home. The discussion was about how high school friends don't really matter, because the friends you have in college are the friends you'll have for life. HA! I mean, that's probably true if you don't go completely insane in college (whether I did or not is debatable AND let's be honest, who didn't), but for some of us, everything comes full circle, and the best friends of my life; well, let's just say I'm glad I started Westlake in 8th grade.
Two of my most dear friends are from high school. I can't even remember meeting Cortney, but Adrienne... haha, oh Adrienne. I was friends with her brother, and she stopped me in the middle of the hallway one day in June and said, "you're Jessica Mellom right? I just want you to know your boyfriend is cheating on you." I stood in the hallway and cried. Big ugly cry. Right there on her shoulder. Poor girl had no idea she was setting herself up for life. The funny thing is, we are all completely different people than when we met. We've all got 2 kids each (which blows my mind), we're all happily married (only slightly blows my mind) and we're all not the least bit concerned about what's going on Friday night (who has time?)
College, I've definitely got good friends from college. A couple of awesome roommates that weren't friends with anyone else I knew and managed to not be a part of my ridiculousness come up on the short list. I love them and I always will. We don't talk often, but when we do it's like nothing has ever changed. It's the ones that are gone that I think about. Not all of them, and thanks to facebook everyone is so connected, I know what so many friends from college are doing without ever even talking to them, but somehow it makes you feel connected, like all is right in the world because she got married and she had a baby and she got divorced but now she's remarried and you realize that as long as everyone's happy, that's really all that matters. It's the ones that you were really close to, the ones that you didn't choose to stop being friends with, those are the hard ones to let go. The ones that you know are getting married next week and you just wish you could call and tell them you are so happy for them, and you hope and pray that they will be as happy in their life as you are in yours; that you hope they have kids because they are the best gift in the whole world, that you hope they find the house they want, and the job they want, and that they can just. be. happy. But it's the ones that you can't call and tell that too that make you sad. That for whatever reason (no really, I'm not sure the reason) you just aren't friends any more. But at some point you just have to grow the hell up and get over it.
And then you have your adult friends. If you are lucky enough to work with girls like I did, you have truly been blessed. Once you get over the crazy, and you get a grown up job with a grown up house and grown up life, you meet Lisa and Theresa. And well, there's just not a lot I can say about them, mostly because I either don't remember (unless you buy me a 30 pack) or I've been sworn to secrecy. I just hope you have a Theresa and a Lisa.
As a mom, and a stay at home mom at that, sometimes talking to my 2 year old, that just learned to talk, makes my brain a little mushy, my throat a little sore, and my mind completely gone. Enter Jeanne, Nicole, Jess, Samantha, Michelle and... oh... Cortney! You know, when your priest sets you up on a supervised blind date, you don't realize that your whole life is about to be knocked upside down. After moving to a new town, having a new baby, quitting my job and fighting the baby blues, meeting a friend might be the saving grace you need. And I mean this girl even wore the same prom dress as me, and we didn't know it until 10 years later when we met. AWE. SOME. And she knew her, and she was her sister, and she met us, and she knew her, and now, no one can tell me that these girls won't be at my son's wedding(s).
So the friends you make in college are the friends you'll have for life? Maybe. But if you're lucky, like me, that's the biggest lie you'll ever be told.
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