Free Ride

Many cities have now made texting while driving illegal, as it should be.  But when are they going to make being an idiot and driving illegal.  The fact that the following are all things I have seen or experienced in the last week makes me realize... friends shouldn't let dip shits drive.

Yesterday, while on a very busy road merging on a bridge off ramp onto another very busy road, some idiot behind me, who almost drove into my rear Johnny side (clarification: Johnny is passenger, Reese is driver), was listening to his headphones.  Not for nothing, but I really feel like when Stephen King decided to put Tommyknockers on tape, he wasn't expecting he'd scare the pants off you WHILE DRIVING.  So you can't pay attention because you are freaking out in your car, and you can't hear anything going on around you (although the little voice screaming in your head probably isn't helping).  Take the headphones out dummy.

On that note.  When you see an ambulance or a police car, get the hell out of the way.  Seriously.  Believe it or not, this is not a law, only a courtesy.  Well, can you imagine if, God forbid, it was you or a family member waiting for that ambulance, and some crappy person decided he didn't feel like being 'courteous'.  Or it was your house being robbed, or on fire, or any other number of horrible things, and the police or firemen couldn't get there because someone wouldn't move over on a one way 35 MPH road?  I invite you next time you see police, fire, EMT or any emergency responder; MOVE OVER IMMEDIATELY.  jerk.

Speaking of jerks.  In the case of funeral processions.  A hearse is not equipped with the special signaler that makes the lights change.  Trust me, where you are going is not as important as where the cars following the hearse are going.  I remember going to a friends father's funeral.  I had recently moved to the area, and really did not know my way around.  I met John at the church because we both went to work and took half days.  The cemetery was about 20 minutes away from the church, and this was a very very large funeral.  I understand getting a little frustrated when you are on a very major road and there are cars not paying attention to 'every other', but realize that so many of those people are paying respects to lost loved ones, and you need to get over yourself.

I love the bumper sticker, "honk if you love Jesus, text if you want to meet him."  Now, I didn't sign Oprah's 'No Texting' promise, but I like to think that I am a fairly safe driver.  Sometimes I even get in a zone and go under the speed limit (whatever, I have precious cargo).  I know I piss people off, but I don't care.  What, am I going to be late for a playdate?  I'm usually the first one there anyway, so really I'd just be on time.  I can't say I've never texted while driving.  I'll get texts sometimes, and if I'm expecting something I might peek at it, but usually it's at a stop sign or light, and as many of my friends will tell you, usually I don't have time to text back and I forget that I got a text and never respond.  But that idiot that does the whole, hands at 10 & 2 but I've got my QWERTY keypad so I can text and drive and I'll just lean my head down so I can see the screen AND the road; newsflash, that doesn't work.  You are not that important and everyone and everything can wait, because otherwise, you might have to be referring to the previous paragraph.

I can't even believe that I saw all of these things in a week. It makes me sad to know that all of the campaigns and all of the PSA's and all of the knowledge that we have now haven't stopped so many of these things.  Next time you get in the car, put your phone in the back, turn down the radio, and by all means, thank God that you are here another day to drive wherever it is you are going.

they come and they go...

There are a lot of things I admire about my husband; I mean, not his clutter blindness or ability to destroy a pair of socks (seriously, what does he DO in those socks?) But that's another Oprah.  One of the best things about him is his loyalty.  Sometimes I wonder if it's just a 'guy' thing, to be able to make a friend in 8th grade and be friends forever.  To know that when one friend goes wacky for a little while you just give him space and then it all comes back to normal.  John has had the same friends since 8th grade.  He made some new ones in college, but I'm not sure if that counts, because they were all connected with friends from home, and he knew him and whatnot.  The joke in our house is that when I make a new friend, I'm not allowed to 'pimp him out' (his words, not mine) to my new friends' husbands.  He is perfectly comfortable in his bubble, and that's fine, because I just happen to really enjoy the people in his bubble. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the particular day) I'm a girl, and it just doesn't seem to be that easy.  I remember having a conversation in college with a sorority sister (also, another Oprah) after a particularly rough fight with a friend from home.  The discussion was about how high school friends don't really matter, because the friends you have in college are the friends you'll have for life.  HA! I mean, that's probably true if you don't go completely insane in college (whether I did or not is debatable AND let's be honest, who didn't), but for some of us, everything comes full circle, and the best friends of my life; well, let's just say I'm glad I started Westlake in 8th grade. 

Two of my most dear friends are from high school.  I can't even remember meeting Cortney, but Adrienne... haha, oh Adrienne.  I was friends with her brother, and she stopped me in the middle of the hallway one day in June and said, "you're Jessica Mellom right?  I just want you to know your boyfriend is cheating on you." I stood in the hallway and cried.  Big ugly cry.  Right there on her shoulder.  Poor girl had no idea she was setting herself up for life.  The funny thing is, we are all completely different people than when we met.  We've all got 2 kids each (which blows my mind), we're all happily married (only slightly blows my mind) and we're all not the least bit concerned about what's going on Friday night (who has time?) 

College, I've definitely got good friends from college.  A couple of awesome roommates that weren't friends with anyone else I knew and managed to not be a part of my ridiculousness come up on the short list.  I love them and I always will.  We don't talk often, but when we do it's like nothing has ever changed.  It's the ones that are gone that I think about.  Not all of them, and thanks to facebook everyone is so connected, I know what so many friends from college are doing without ever even talking to them, but somehow it makes you feel connected, like all is right in the world because she got married and she had a baby and she got divorced but now she's remarried and you realize that as long as everyone's happy, that's really all that matters.  It's the ones that you were really close to, the ones that you didn't choose to stop being friends with, those are the hard ones to let go.  The ones that you know are getting married next week and you just wish you could call and tell them you are so happy for them, and you hope and pray that they will be as happy in their life as you are in yours; that you hope they have kids because they are the best gift in the whole world, that you hope they find the house they want, and the job they want, and that they can just. be. happy.  But it's the ones that you can't call and tell that too that make you sad.  That for whatever reason (no really, I'm not sure the reason) you just aren't friends any more.  But at some point you just have to grow the hell up and get over it. 

And then you have your adult friends.  If you are lucky enough to work with girls like I did, you have truly been blessed.  Once you get over the crazy, and you get a grown up job with a grown up house and grown up life, you meet Lisa and Theresa.  And well, there's just not a lot I can say about them, mostly because I either don't remember (unless you buy me a 30 pack) or I've been sworn to secrecy.  I just hope you have a Theresa and a Lisa. 

As a mom, and a stay at home mom at that, sometimes talking to my 2 year old, that just learned to talk, makes my brain a little mushy, my throat a little sore, and my mind completely gone.  Enter Jeanne, Nicole, Jess, Samantha, Michelle and... oh... Cortney!  You know, when your priest sets you up on a supervised blind date, you don't realize that your whole life is about to be knocked upside down.  After moving to a new town, having a new baby, quitting my job and fighting the baby blues, meeting a friend might be the saving grace you need.  And I mean this girl even wore the same prom dress as me, and we didn't know it until 10 years later when we met.  AWE. SOME.  And she knew her, and she was her sister, and she met us, and she knew her, and now, no one can tell me that these girls won't be at my son's wedding(s). 

So the friends you make in college are the friends you'll have for life?  Maybe.  But if you're lucky, like me, that's the biggest lie you'll ever be told.